The hidden norms limiting inclusion - and how to change them

Hello!

First things first, a quick reminder about my FREE masterclass on Monday - reserve your space today as there’s only 6 days to go!

The Future of Neuroinclusion: AI, Intersectionality and Building Cultures
🗓️ Monday 23 June at 12.00–13.00 UK time
Reserve your spot here

Now, onto this week’s newsletter - the theme was prompted by an interaction between a child and teacher at school that I witnessed last week.

Today I’m talking about:

• Info: How unexplained rules can damage trust and inclusion

• Tips: How to offer clarity, context and compassion

• Recommendations: Tools to help challenge hidden norms

When the “why” is missing

Last week, I saw a child refusing to go into school. The teacher had asked them to take off a necklace as it wasn’t allowed. The child looked up and asked:
“Then why are you wearing one?”

I had a little chuckle to myself as it was a great question. Direct. Honest. And totally fair.

The teacher explained that the rule was about safety in the playground and during PE. It didn’t apply to teachers because they weren’t playing or climbing.

The child listened, and then quietly took the necklace off and walked in.

It made me think of all the unspoken rules we see in workplaces. The ones that shape how people are expected to behave:

• Keep your camera on.

• Don’t fidget.

• Make eye contact.

• Speak up in meetings.

• Always be “available.”

• Join the socials.

• Follow the process.

And if someone doesn’t? They’re labelled difficult. Unprofessional. Not a team player.

But what if, like that child, they just need a reason?

What if the real issue isn’t the person, it’s the lack of context?

When we make space to explain the "why," - or rethink it entirely - we open the door to real inclusion.

Challenging rules with compassion

Here are five ways to make your workplace less about conformity, and more about clarity:

• Notice the norms: What’s considered “professional” in your workplace? Who set those standards? Is there a better, more inclusive way?

• Offer context, not just instruction: If you’re asking for something, explain the why. Especially if it’s behavioural.

• Be open to questions: Don’t treat pushback or curiosity as defiance. Treat it as an opportunity to rethink, and a chance to build trust.

• Look for double standards: If one group is exempt from a rule, ask why. Make sure it's not rooted in bias.

• Co-create norms: Involve diverse voices in shaping your team’s ways of working. Don’t just hand down rules, build them together.

Recommended Resources

• Ask us for our “20 Social Norms” doc
  This handy list reveals the hidden expectations many neurodivergent people encounter at work, and what to do about them.
  Just reply to this email with “20 norms” and we’ll send it to you.

• Join our next live FREE masterclass: The Future of Neuroinclusion
  Explore how inclusion is evolving, and how to lead the change in your own organisation.
  Sign up here

Closing Thought

Explaining the why is a small act. But it can change everything.

Especially for someone who’s always felt like the rules weren’t made for them.

Speak next week, or hopefully see some of you at my masterclass on Monday!

Jess

PS Whenever you’re ready, here are some ways I can help:

• Join the waitlist for our next NeuroNavigator® programme and become a certified Neurodiversity Champion. Doors open next week for Sept start!

• Want me to speak in your organisation? Head here to book a chat and make a plan.

• Book a FREE Discovery call to chat through how I can support your workplace, your school or your family.