A kinder way to start fresh
Every year, the pressure builds. To do more. Be better. Fix ourselves.
But what if we chose something kinder?
New Year’s resolutions often come wrapped in guilt and unrealistic expectations. And for many people, that kind of rigid goal-setting just doesn’t work. It sets us up to fail before we begin.
So what can we do instead?
Today I’m talking about:
Info: Why resolutions fall short (and what to do instead)
Tips: Gentler, neuroinclusive ways to reflect and plan
Recommendations: Tools to help you start the year with intention
Why most resolutions don’t work (and what does)
Resolutions often rely on willpower alone. They're binary: you succeed or you fail. And they rarely consider how real life - with all its complexity, messiness, and shifting needs - actually works.
For neurodivergent folks especially, this all-or-nothing approach can backfire. When the world doesn't fit how your brain works, your energy, motivation and executive function fluctuate. You might need more flexibility. More rest. More ways to win.
Here are five more inclusive, adaptive approaches to setting intentions for the year ahead:
1. Choose a theme for the year
Instead of chasing one goal, set a theme like calm, connection, or courage. It becomes a gentle guidepost, not a fixed target.
2. Pick a word of the year
This is like a personal compass. One word that helps you say yes to what matters and no to what doesn’t. Examples? Ease. Balance. Reclaim.
(Or if you want to pinch mine, it’s ‘Recover’!)
3. Stack tiny habits
Instead of overhauling your life, build on what’s already working. Link new habits to existing ones, like doing a one-minute stretch after brushing your teeth. Small steps, big shifts.
4. Create a bingo card
Make a grid of joyful, meaningful challenges like “try a new hobby” or “take a screen-free walk”. It’s playful, visual, and way more motivating than a checklist. Plus there’s a lot of joy in the creativity of making these!
5. Set quarterly goals
Break the year into seasons. What feels realistic and exciting just for this quarter? You’ll build momentum, and have space to pivot.
7 types of rest (and why you might need all of them)
Sometimes we don’t need more goals. We need better rest.
According to Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith, there are seven types of rest. And many of us, especially those who are neurodivergent, aren’t getting the ones we truly need.
Here they are:
Physical rest – Sleep, naps, gentle movement
Mental rest – Brain breaks, journaling, meditation
Sensory rest – Silence, darkness, tech-free time
Emotional rest – Being authentic, dropping the mask
Social rest – Time with people who don’t drain you
Creative rest – Art, music, nature, beauty
Spiritual rest – Purpose, reflection, connection to something bigger
Which ones are you missing?
Tips: A gentler start to the year
Swap ‘resolutions’ for reflection – Ask yourself what you need more of this year. And what you’re ready to leave behind.
Make it modular – Set goals that flex with your energy, not against it. If your executive function varies, your planning should too.
Schedule your rest – Not just holidays, the right kinds of rest. Use Dalton-Smith’s list to identify what you’re truly missing.
Name your season – You don’t have to be in a ‘growth’ phase. Maybe you’re in recovery (like me!) or rediscovery. Honour where you are.
Start with what matters – Before you set a goal, ask: is this for me, or am I just doing what I think I should?
Recommended Resources
Watch: Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith’s TEDx Talk on the 7 types of rest – it’s 10 minutes that could change how you recover, recharge, and reset.
Try: Our Reset & Reflect workshop – designed to help you begin the year with clarity and intention. This 30 minute workshop uses the 7 types of rest and is perfect for teams looking to start the year as they mean to go on. Reply to this email to learn more.
One last thought...
You don’t need to hustle your way into January. You don’t need to fix yourself. You just need to begin from where you are, and choose something that fits you.
I’d love to hear from you: What do you do to reflect and plan?
Just hit reply and tell me, I read every message.
Speak soon,
Jess
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